Why be Kind to Yourself when Building Healthy Habits
We all define the word ‘health’ differently at different times of our lives, but we all know what it means to us and why we are constantly working on staying in that state of equilibrium.
We become very hard on ourselves when we know we are not where we’d like to be and one of the reasons why is that we often think that we can ‘achieve’ health by the same methods as learning a skill for example.
Why is it easier to master a skill than healthy habits?
1. There is a clear road map to mastering a particular skill, but not for mastering health.
SKILL: You want to learn to play the piano? Great! You find a piano teacher, learn musical notation and then the only thing that stands between you and becoming proficient is your motivation to sit at the instrument day in and day out.
HEALTH: You want to find a path to true health?
Ideal scenario: You were lucky to learn how to eat optimally, exercise regularly and have a balanced lifestyle from your family or someone you met on your life’s path. You find it easy to have a healthy routine and regular habits. There are no health issues to overcome and if there are, there is a clear path to overcome them.
If that’s not the case for you, as I believe it is for most of us, we know we have a long and windy path ahead and there is NO clear roadmap. We have to time and time again listen to your best judgment, experiment, discard what doesn’t work, and learn as we go.
It is hard work, but for those of us seeking to feel our best, there is no other way than putting in the hours and making peace with the fact that it is not a straightforward journey.
2. Skills are palpable, externally valued, rewarded and validated.
SKILL: Others notice and encourage your progress when you are developing a skill such as playing a piano and we are likely to work doubly as hard as the validation is internal as well as external.
Also, once you reach a certain level in a skill, it will take a while before you ‘loose’ it.
HEALTH: Unlike building skills, the struggle of building healthy habits unfortunately goes mostly unnoticed, unless there are visible results that are within the desired healthy-looking stereotype. The motivation is mostly internal, so we have to work on building confidence in ourselves as well as on that healthy habit.
There is a myriad of mind blocks we have to tackle when it comes to building health. There is also an inherent resistance to that which is good for us.
3. There are fewer systems standing between you and gaining a new skill than there are between you and building your health.
SKILL: While the path to gain most new skills is rather straightforward and often the only one standing between it and success is yourself, when you are on the path to finding health, the systems that you expect should help can fail or even take you in the wrong direction.
HEALTH: As incredible as modern healthcare is for example, it does not yet promote preventative care and teach how to live to be in optimal health.
How You CAN Succeed:
Don’t become discouraged by this grim map to mastering health and habits.
One point that learning a skill and path to true health have in common is the point that will help you succeed - whether you are learning the piano or establishing a better healthy routine, the key to mastery is consistency.
You will neither master an instrument nor yourself & your health in a matter of days or months. If you are in it for the long haul, you WILL see results.
Remind yourself of the obstacles outlined here every once in a while to make that journey easier.
Pat yourself on the back for being on this path and rather than stressing about achieving the result you are after, seek satisfaction in the repetitive action you do every day that will get you there.
Build Healthy Habits, one at a time.
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